- March 3rd, 2006
Here is an observation of mine. This is culled largely from the previous thread.
It is acceptable these days to be a female geek, but I find that there are only certain *ways* of being a female geek that are popular. Specifically, if you're a CFP - Celtic Faerie Princess.
The nerd/geek guys I had the bad experience with, universally seemed to end up wanting a specific type of woman... and even when I did get with these guys, "their type" usually came out midway through the relationship, facilitating the breakup. They often got with me relieved that a smart girl liked them, but then ended up despairing that I still wasn't the CFP of their dreams.
I wonder if something that goes on among us female geeks is that a large majority of our male counterpart are hung
up on specific archetypes, and if we ourselves happen to be particularly pragmatic, intelligent or just a Myers-Briggs NT as
opposed to an NF, we do not fit the archetype. These guys, a lot of them, seem to be looking for a damsel in distress. When they find out we are just as much knight-errant as them, they're dissappointed.
Here are the basic rules for Celtic Faerie Princesshood:
Passion, kissing, sex style, sexual orientation
If your tongue ends up in the guy's mouth before he has stuck his in your mouth, then you are NOT a CFP.
If you ever fantasize about BDSM - especially being the top or dominant - you are NOT a CFP.
Lingerie? If it's black, you are not a CFP. If it's floaty and white, you might be a CFP.
If you are bi curious, add 100 CFP points.
If you are bisexual but actually like women as actual girlfriends, then subtract 40 points.
If you are a lesbian, you are not a CFP.
If you are gender queer and female bodied, you are not a CFP.
If you are gender queer or transgendered but were born male, you may still be a CFP...
If you're a vegan or vegetarian, add 40 points.
If you're a hardcore meat and potatoes type, subtract 50 points.
Look at your wardrobe. If less than 50% of your wardrobe consists of dresses or skirts, you are NOT a CFP.
If what dresses you DO own are tailored, you are not a CFP.
If you wear Rennaissance garb at any time, add *100* CFP points.
If you wear Rennaissance garb - and it's MALE - subtract 30 points.
If you have ever had an eating disorder: add 40 points.
If you've ever been on depression/in therapy for phobias or depression, add 50 points.
If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, subtract 40 points.
If you have ever been suspected to have Asperger's Syndrome, you are NOT a CFP.
Major in college, or profession
If you're Liberal Arts, music, art, education or psychology, you might be a CFP. If you are Ethnomusicology, English Lit or Art History, add fifteen points. If you are Psychology, add five points if it's Humanistic. If you are a behaviorist, subtract THIRTY points. If cultural anthro, add five to ten points, but if physical, subtract twenty.
If you are a science or business major - subtract 80 points. Exceptions: Environmental Science, in which case, add 30 points.
If you went to a liberal arts college, add 40 points.
If you went to Caltech or MIT, subtract 80 points.
If you went to UC Berkeley or SF State, add 40 points, but if you went to UC Irvine or UCSD, subtract 30.
If you work in computers - as a game tester or artist - add 10 points, if it's tech writing add 30 points, but if you are a programmer or any kind of engineer, subtract 60 points.
If you possess more than a bachelor's degree, subtract 70 points - unless the Master's is in English Literature or Theater (in which case, add 40 points).
If you possess an advanced degree in Law, Business, Medicine, science, or anything of that nature - you are NOT a CFP. No lawyer, doctor or MBA is EVER a CFP.
If you work in the medical field in any capacity:
if you are a nursing assistant, add 20 CFP points. If you're an RN, subtract 20 points. If you are in alternative healthcare, add 40 CFP points. If you are a doctor, you are NOT a CFP. If you're an EMT/Paramedic, see clause about masculine work.
If you work in any traditional "masculine" field (such as being a cop, firefighter, electrician, mechanic) or are in the military, you are not a CFP. If your job requires a uniform, you are not a CFP.
If you work at an art supply store, in a museum, music/art, or in any capacity with children or animals, add 20 CFP points.
If you're an elementary school teacher, add 70 CFP points.
If you're a professional writer, add 50 CFP points.
If you're a street vendor and under 25, add 20 CFP points. If a street vendor and over 30, subtract 80 CFP points (see clause about socioeconomic class).
If you're a librarian or work in a bookstore, add 30 CFP points.
Personality type, sense of humor, etc
What is your Myers-Briggs type? If you are an NT or an SJ, you are NOT a Celtic Faerie Princess.
What is your sense of humor like? If it's gross or hard-edged, you are NOT a CFP, unless you restrain yourself appropriately.
Green Party: add 80 points
Democrat: add 50 points
Libertarian: Neutral. You might instead however be a Non-CFP Female Geek.
Republican: YOU ARE NOT A CFP.
If you follow a mainstream religion, subtract 10 points, unless it's a religion that accepts complementary New Age or Pagan practices.
You are NOT a CFP if you are Jewish. For some reason, no CFP can be Jewish.
Add 40 CFP points if you are Wiccan.
If you are an Atheist, subtract twenty points... Atheism/skepticism is not romantic.
Paganism in general is very CFP but you are NOT a CFP if you are deeply into Ceremonial Magick or any path that requires a huge amount of "left brained" style of thought as opposed to intuition.
You're not a CFP if you are either a Thelemite, Setite or Satanist (as in, true Satanist - not the various Pagans that some people *assume* are Satanists but in reality are not). You're probably too likely to wear black leather, and are probably too sexually aggressive to be a CFP.
If you are skeptical or scientific materialist, subtract about 80 CFP points.
If you belong to anything such as an Atheist Club or the Skeptics' Society, then you are not a CFP.
If you are streetsmart, you are not a CFP.
If you are middle class to upper middle class, add 50 points.
The Inheritance Clause: you may have a poor background and be CFP if your mother is CFP or if your father is a Hippie.
You are NOT a CFP if your socioeconomic status is entirely self-made, even if it's in a CFP-friendly profession. Exception: bestselling fantasy novelist is neutral while best selling young adult or children's author adds 100 CFP points.
If you play a Celtic instrument, add 40 CFP points.
If you sing madrigals, add 40 CFP points.
If you play a classical instrument, add 30 points per instrument.
If you play music but it's heavy metal, subtract 100 CFP points.
If you are into RenFaire or SCA, add 40 CFP points.
If you participate in SCA as a swordfighter or armor maker, subtract 40 CFP points.
If you program computers or do math for fun, subtract 60 CFP points.
If you paint miniatures, add 20 CFP points, but if you build models, subtract 20 points.
If you are into costuming, add 30 points.
If you are into sewing, crochet, beadwork, etc., add 40 points.
If you are into painting, poetry or creative writing, add 20 points for each hobby.
If you are into astronomy, rock collection, or anything like that, subtract 50 points.
If you go to sci-fi cons, add 20 points.
If you bellydance, add 100 CFP points.
If you do hip-hop dancing, subtract 30 CFP points.
If you do hiking/camping, add 20 points if it's "to commune with nature".
If it's because you're into wilderness trekking, subtract 40 points.
If you're into geocaching, subtract 20 points.
If you are into mainstream sports (e.g. football, hockey) where people get hurt, subtract 100 CFP points.
If you are into auto racing, subtract 100 CFP points.
And if you DO auto racing or work on cars or for that matter have anything to do with cars other than drive them, you are NOT a CFP.
Add 30 CFP points for each handicraft, creativity, nature, or liberal arts related hobby *THAT IS NOT YOUR VOCATION*. The more hobbies you have that have nothing to do with your work, the more CFP you are.
If you go to Toastmasters, you are not a CFP.
If you read science (other than environment/animals/nature related stuff), subtract 40 CFP points.
If you read New Age books, add 20 points.
If you read Baxter, Clarke or Asimov, subtract 80 CFP points.
If you read LeGuin or Cherryh, these are neutral on their own, but if it's strictly the authors' fantasy work, then add 20 points. If it's the authors' SF work, subtract 20.
If you read chick lit or romance, add 10 points.
If you read classic lit, add 30 points.
If your classic lit is Jane Austen, add 80 points.
If it's Jack London or HG Wells, subtract 40 points.
If you read Anne Rice, add 20 points.
If you read Anne McCaffrey, add 40 points.
If you read fantasy, ADD A WHOPPING 90 POINTS!
If you read politics, subtract 20 points.
If you're into Shakespeare, add 50 points.
If you bicycle, add 20 points.
If you drive a small car, add 40 points.
If it's a modern VW beatle in a pastel color, add 60 points.
If it's an SUV, subtract 60 points.
If it's an SUV that actually has mud on its tires, subtract 80 points.
If you drive a hybrid because of the environment, add 40 points.
If it's because all that techno-gadgetry is COOL, subtract 40 points.
If you are not white, you are not a CFP.
If you a white but too obviously not northern European or Celtic/British Isles extraction, you are not a CFP.
If you are physically disabled, you are not a CFP unless it is a chronic wasting illness or condition that causes you to have multiple food allergies and intolerances.
You might not be a Celtic Faerie Princess. Instead, you might be the Non-CFP Female Geek, which won't get you dates with at least half of male geeks (unless they're hard up/couldn't find a CFP). Expect, anyway, to get dumped in favor of a CFP or to have all manner of relationship problems because your boyfriend is projecting his fantasy upon you, a real person. Expect also that your CFP-ophile won't marry you, since he's holding out for the CFP of his dreams, or that you will feel like the girl he could get instead of the girl he really wanted.
If you are the Non-CFP Female Geek, be careful that *your* preferred male archetype isn't the even more elusive creature, the bishonen - and if you find him, be careful to wear padding over your bony areas when you do it so that his ribs and hipbones don't stick you.
All of this said, consider your fellow Non-CFP Female Geek. Gynophilic FGs seem to prefer their own kind, do not tend to be stuck on CFPs, and actually think your cargo pants and closet full of techno toys - the things that male geeks find a threat to their supremacy - make you a hot ticket.